Understanding Parenting Styles
UNDERSTANDING PARENTING STYLES
There 4 types of parenting styles - what's yours?
permissive
authoritative
neglectful
authoritarian
Permissive parents believe that their children need to be happy at all times, and the way to show them love is giving into their desires regardless of outcomes. They want their children to feel loved and love them back, and typically believe that the parents' main focus should be to facilitate their ability to express themselves freely. They are high responsiveness and warmth, but low demand.
Authoritative parents believe their children need to find intrinsic reasons to choose good behavior, they set strict boundaries but allow their children to make decisions within those boundaries. They communicate with their children and use natural consequences to reinforce behavior. They are high in both demand and responsiveness/warmth.
Neglectful parents believe children must learn to fend for themselves. These parents are often overwhelmed with their own lives, and didn't form strong attachments to their own parents. They expect children to find their own way in life and are low in demand and responsiveness or warmth.
Authoritarian parents believe being strict is how you show a child love. Control is a way to mold the child into a vision the parents believe is best. They are high demand with low responsiveness or warmth. The overall goal is obedience.
Who's best?
It is easy to judge parents or assume they are acting in their own best interests when evaluating parenting styles; but all 4 standard styles can come from a place of love. Permissive parents just want their children to be happy at all times and fail to see the value in disappointment or struggle. Neglectful parents have often had hard lives filled with pain and want their children to be ready to face a difficult world alone as they have had to. Authoritarian parents want their children to fit into society and think they must guide their path to facilitate this.
It is also easy to assume that Authoritative parents will produce the best kids. This isn't always the case either. These kids have to find their own internal motivations and some often struggle when entering adulthood because they have not yet found what motivates them.
The truth is, there isn't a perfect parenting style for every child and every situation. It is more likely that a combination of styles used at the appropriate times would help a child to develop into the most successful version of themselves.
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